While doing an assignment for an online course, I discovered that I am a terrible liar.
The assignment required us to write a 200-word paragraph describing ourselves, including hobbies and interests. But the kicker was, we had to include a statement that was a lie and other students had to spot which statement was untrue.
You guys, I had the HARDEST time coming up with something to lie about! Isn’t that crazy?! All I had to do is come up with a small white lie and I couldn’t even do it.
I know this may sound small, but there are a lot of individuals in our society that LIVE a daily lie….
- People report to jobs they despise but will brag on how much they love their career.
- Being involved in pointless and unfulfilling relationships (friendships, partnerships, etc.) just to keep OTHERS happy.
- Continuing to associate with organizations that a person has outgrown and/or no longer agree with.
- Posting fabrications on social media to appear one way to the masses while living a totally different life once the cameras are away. (Appear to be a happy couple online yet miserable and consistently lonely at home.)
All of these examples are of living a lie….but LIVING the lie began with lying to oneself first and then eventually lying to others.
Why do we lie to ourselves or others about who we are?
Lies begin to cover up a truth out of fear of judgement or fear of not being accepted by others.
There is most likely a deeply rooted belief or program that a person was taught in their childhood. For example, the “golden child” is supposed to be perfect, always excelling, polished, and can do no wrong. So, a person who has been labeled as a golden child will often struggle in their adulthood to live outside of that box due to fear of criticism from their parents or they fear they will disappoint others.
Lies begin to protect ourselves from uncomfortable realizations. But the more we lie, the more we deny ourselves freedom as we become slaves to the lie; trapped in an identity that truly isn’t fulfilling.
This is why it is vital to live an authentic life. When you are true to yourself in all aspects, it will be impossible to conjure up a lie whenever you are faced with interacting with others. And you will become more
Practice being true to yourself, whether that’s looking in the mirror each day and speaking affirmations or speaking your truth with trusted loved ones. Either way, this will become habitual to only think truthful thoughts that way you won’t ever find yourself making up habitual lies to cover for small lies.
French autentique“authentic; canonical” (13c., Modern French authentique) and directly from Medieval Latin authenticus, from Greek authentikos “original, genuine, principal,” from authentes “one acting on one’s own authority,”….(2) “to accomplish, achieve.” Sense of “real, entitled to acceptance as factual” is first recorded mid-14c.
Wearing masks to protect the delicate authentic self.
When I was enlisted in the Air Force, we practiced wearing gas masks as a protective agent from airborne pollutants. In the civilian world, wearing masks have become a norm to offset the spread of COVID-19!
In these cases, yes, wearing a mask may be crucial for survival. However, if your day-to-day life revolves around safekeeping your true self, then you may want to analyze why you are holding yourself hostage to that environment in the first place?
Believe it or not, YOU have the power to remove yourself from anything or any PLACE that is not serving who you are as an individual. You were not born into a family or area to be DELEGATED in that space for infinity.
If your daily life involves wearing a mask in order to survive, meaning hiding your true identity to appease others, that means you are ONLY living your life to serve others. You are not living a self-fulfilled life…you are living to be liked and to be agreeable.
The ultimate remedy
The best remedy for all of this is to just be yourself! And watch how life will magnetize the right environment and the right people towards you.
When I made the decision to walk away from certain titles and organizations TO BE MYSELF and follow my inner knowing, there were many people who exited my life. I experienced tremendous loss.
As I reflect, I realize just how much more easy it would have been to ‘pretend’ or wear a mask just to keep certain individuals around. But in that, my inner being would have continued to be suffocated. I would have been living a LIE just so that I wasn’t disappointing others.
However, any person that TRULY loves you will only want you to live as your authentic self and nothing less than that. And they won’t place a burden or ultimatum over you to strive hard to be something else in order to gain their love and approval.
I am affirming to those of you who are currently in this situation that it is not worth it in the long run. Try practicing self-love so that you aren’t attracting experiences in your life that involve you becoming ANYTHING other than what your heart desires.
I speak from experience when I say live your life authentically and UN-apologetically. Let that beautiful inner being permeate through those layers and allow her/him to get some light too! Do you ever water one side of a plant or expose one side of it to the sun? No, you nurture all of it. And that is the same you have to do for yourself because you are just like that plant.
When you become more authentic to self, you will attract others into your life who are authentic as well. Chances are, if you are still hiding behind your mask, there are at least 5 people in your circle who are also hiding behind a mask. They’re scared to be true to themselves because you are also scared to be true yourself. (Birds of a feather flock together.)
The more authentic you become, the more you will attract other authentic individuals into your reality. The air will become thinner and it will become that much more easier for you to breathe without having to fight so hard to do so.
Trading authenticity for approval, likes, relationships, will ONLY lead you on a path towards an unfulfilled life. While the false persona becomes full, your authentic self will be left starved. And the relationships that you do form will be CONDITIONAL versus unconditional.
Be yourself TODAY…I mean ALL OF Y.O.U……and don’t wait another millisecond. STOP picking yourself apart for things you cannot alter…pray away….drink away….etc. Be exactly who you are and make the necessary adjustments as you go. Don’t ever suffocate your true self to fit into a group that probably does not have your best interest in mind anyhow.
Table F@$k the world!
In basic military training, we had a code while at the chow hall to not stand up early from our meal because then we would table f$%k everyone else and they would have to stand up from their meal as well, whether they were ready or not.
In this dire urge to become yourself, sometimes you have to be the first person who stands up.
In this society, you may just have to be the table f$%ker that sets the domino effect for others to stand up as well!
Not only will you relieve yourself, but you will also relieve others who have been silently struggling to break free. You never know who (mother, father, bestie, sister, cousin, brother) may be waiting on YOU to stand so that they can feel comfortable being themselves as well.
“Being authentic is the only way to be. If you are not being yourself, you are not being.”