When we hear this word sacrifice, we may envision the biblical story of the Canaanites sacrificing their children to Moloch. Or maybe you think of celebrities who sacrifice their soul for money.
In either instance, you would have the correct idea of sacrifice described in this blog post. I want you to envision placing your authentic identity, your inner child’s imaginations, your purpose on the planet, your creative mindset, all of that…imagine placing those things on a tray and handing it over to someone in exchange for a paycheck, acceptance, likes on social media, compliance with social norms, etc.
Sounds pretty extreme, right?
Well, it’s not far-fetched.
Sacrifice: to give up (something important or valued) for the sake of other considerations.
What if I told you that you actually do this every single time you hide your truth for monetary gain and/or to feed your egoic self?
The egoic self is the part of you that was created for survival in the world. It’s your corporate identity. It is the self that expresses in order to have some sort of relevance in the eyes of others. All of the titles that we attach to ourselves (wife, husband, doctor, lawyer, etc.) are just identities that we have created in order to add a tic of success and accomplishment to our worldly resume. It is sometimes boastful and proud. It is our way of proclaiming to the world that we are somebody. It likes to show off its possessions that it has gained while operating in said titles. It is used for comparison against others, especially as competition for salaries.
But deep inside, there’s an authentic self that encompasses who we truly are. That part of us has been present since birth. It needs no label. Our aura expresses it. It does not need to speak. It’s with us every day in the background witnessing us become other things/titles in order for us to gain a sense of relevancy. It is the part of us that really requires NO recognition or analysis. It doesn’t care to be compared to others. It actually doesn’t care to crutically judge others. It’s going to BE irregardless of opinions, because it was designed as our blueprint identity. It is who we truly are at our core. And since it loves to express freely and genuinely, it has no issue with others expressing freely and authentically.
Ways in which we sacrifice our authenticity
1. Reporting to jobs that we no longer find inspiring.
You know, the jobs we report to where we have to sit in the car for 5 to 10 minutes to give ourselves a boost of encouragement before walking through the doors! You despise this job, yet you force yourself to attend. You’re not actively looking for alternatives, because it pays good.
You would rather endure unhappiness everyday if it means you can still hang on to that salary and all the recognition you get from the corporate title.
2. Being involved in pointless and unfulfilling relationships (friendships, partnerships, etc.) just to keep OTHERS happy.
Staying in relationships so that you can appear happy. You love posting how many friends you have on social media. It makes you look like a social butterfly. It makes you look popular!
You’ll hang on to that toxic marriage, because you get to show off that ring. You get to post pictures on social media of you being in a loving marriage of X years, but behind closed doors, you’re lonely. You haven’t had peace in your home in years. But the preservation of that image you created is more important than your happiness when the world isn’t watching.
3. Continuing to associate with organizations that a person has outgrown and/or no longer agree with.
You’ve outgrown that club, religious affiliation, or some other organization, but you won’t let it go because you’re afraid you’re going to lose those connections. Your spirit has evolved, but you would rather stay stuck in these organizations while your authentic self continues to be shoved to the back.
4. Living a LIE-F in exchange for approval from others.
You’re only in a career field, relationship, organization, etc., because your forefathers did it. For example, your grandpa joined the military, so you’re going to join as well to continue the family legacy although you personally don’t agree with some of the agendas of the military.
Your mother went to college to study as a doctor. You wanted to be an esthetician or a stylist, but you know your Mom has a strong opinion against this industry. She says it won’t make you as much money. So, you decide to follow in her footsteps and study as a doctor instead. You hate it. Your authentic self has a purpose to express in the beauty industry. But, if it will keep your mother happy, then so be it.
All of the above examples are of living a lie. However, LIVING the lie began with lying to oneself first, denying ourselves of the rite to express authentically without regard for acceptance, compensation, recognition, awards, etc. Living the lie eventually became habitual, an easy, comfortable sacrifice.
Why do we lie to ourselves or others about who we are?
Lies begin to cover up a truth out of fear of judgement or fear of not being accepted by others.
There is most likely a deeply rooted belief or program that a person was taught in their childhood.
For example, the “golden child” is supposed to be perfect, always excelling, polished, and can do no wrong. So, a person who has been labeled as a golden child will often struggle in their adulthood to live outside of that box due to fear of criticism from their parents or they fear they will disappoint others.
Lies begin to protect ourselves from uncomfortable realizations. But the more we lie, the more we deny ourselves freedom as we become slaves to the lie; trapped in an identity that truly isn’t fulfilling.
Wearing masks to protect the delicate authentic self.
When I was enlisted in the Air Force, we practiced wearing gas masks as a protective agent from airborne pollutants. In the civilian world, wearing masks have become a norm to offset the spread of COVID-19!
In these cases, yes, wearing a mask may be crucial for survival. However, if your day-to-day life revolves around safekeeping your true self, then you may want to analyze why you are holding yourself hostage to that environment in the first place?
Believe it or not, YOU have the power to remove yourself from anything or any PLACE that is not uplifting who you are authentically.
If your daily life involves wearing a mask in order to survive, meaning hiding your true identity to appease others, that means you are ONLY living your life to serve others. You are not living a self-fulfilled life…you are living to be liked and to be agreeable.
Ask yourself these questions in order to uncover the authentic identity.
Be honest with what is you desire in life.
What brings you enormous joy in life?
What career can you think of doing even if it isn’t bringing in a high salary at first?
What career do you envision waking up to and smiling at the thought of commuting to that job?
What were you excited about as a child?
What do you find yourself doing as a hobby in your spare time?
How do you express yourself when you are alone?
What would you still enjoy EVEN if you couldn’t post it on social media for the world to see?
What would you be excited doing even if no one else knew about it?
Now practice being true to yourself
After considering all of these questions, now it is time for you to do the work!
Log off social media for a few days and just EXIST. Resist that urge to show the world what you are doing, because you will continue to feed the egoic self if you do this. Remember, the authentic self doesn’t care for acceptance, likes and shares, or commentary. It’s just living and being.
Practice being true to yourself, whether that’s looking in the mirror each day and speaking affirmations or speaking your truth with trusted loved ones.
Formulate a plan to slowly break away from that job you despise. That hobby you find yourself doing everyday that brings you pesce, turn that into a business!
Use this step by step guide to create a vision board for your future!
Research ways in which others have created a business in that same niche. Watch how your creativity blossoms. You will find yourself creating products and services around that hobby. And sooner than later, that hobby will turn into a prosperous business that will require for you to quit that job you despise so that you can focus on the career that you LOVE.
French autentique“authentic; canonical” (13c., Modern French authentique) and directly from Medieval Latin authenticus, from Greek authentikos “original, genuine, principal,” from authentes “one acting on one’s own authority,”….(2) “to accomplish, achieve.” Sense of “real, entitled to acceptance as factual” is first recorded mid-14c.
The ultimate remedy
The best remedy for all of this is to just be yourself and watch how life will magnetize the right environment and the right people towards you.
When I made the decision to walk away from certain titles and organizations TO BE MYSELF and follow my inner knowing, there were many people who exited my life. I experienced tremendous loss with connections and monetary gain.
As I reflect, I realize just how much more easy it would have been to ‘pretend’ or wear a mask just to keep certain individuals around or to make a certain salary a year. But in that, my inner being would have continued to be suffocated. I would have been living a LIE just so that I could uphold a self-limiting belief.
Know that any person who TRULY loves you will only want you to live as your authentic self and nothing less than that. They won’t place a burden or ultimatum over you to strive hard to be something else in order to gain their love and approval.
No company or organization that TRULY appreciates you for who you are will ask you to alter your hairstyle, your look, sacrifice family time, or ask you to perform duties that are not in alignment with who you are authentically.
I am affirming to those of you who are currently in this situation that it is not worth it in the long run. It may serve a temporary fulfillment, but you will continue to suffer until you make changes.
Try practicing self-love so that you aren’t attracting experiences in your life that involve you becoming ANYTHING other than what your heart desires.
I speak from experience when I say live your life authentically and UN-apologetically. Let that beautiful inner being permeate through those layers and allow her/him to get some light too! Do you ever water one side of a plant or expose one side of it to the sun? No, you nurture all of it. And that is the same you have to do for yourself, because you are just like that plant.
The more authentic you become, the more you will attract other authentic individuals into your reality. The air will become thinner and it will become that much more easier for you to breathe without having to fight so hard to do so.
Trading authenticity for approval, likes, relationships, will ONLY lead you on a path towards an unfulfilled life. While the false persona becomes full, your authentic self will be left starved. And the relationships that you do form will be CONDITIONAL versus unconditional.
Be yourself TODAY…I mean ALL OF Y.O.U……and don’t wait another millisecond. STOP picking yourself apart for things you cannot alter, pray away, drink away, buy yourself out of, etc. Be exactly who you are and make the necessary adjustments as you go.
Don’t ever suffocate your true identity to fit into a group or gain a salary from a company that probably does not have your best interest in mind anyhow.
Table F@$k the world!
In basic military training, we had a code while at the chow hall to not stand up early from our meal because then we would table f$%k everyone else and they would have to stand up from their meal as well, whether they were ready or not.
In this dire urge to become yourself, sometimes you have to be the first person who stands up.
In this society, you may just have to be the table f$%ker that sets the domino effect for others to stand up as well!
Not only will you relieve yourself, but you will also relieve others who have been silently struggling to break free. You never know who (mother, father, bestie, sister, cousin, brother) may be waiting on YOU to stand so that they can feel comfortable being themselves as well.