What does monogamy mean in a relationship?

Monogamy is the practice of having a long term relationship with 1 person. Polygamy, as the root -poly- implies, is a relationship with multiple people.

Polyandry is the practice of a woman having more than one husband. The most common form of polygamy is more specifically polygyny, a male having more than one wife. Polygyny is legal in most countries in West Africa.

West Africa Brief

Present day, polygyny is illegal in North America. However, allegedly, polygamy is still practiced or at least sanctioned among certain sects, such as Mormon fundamentalism and Hebrew Israelite groups.

A question that was posted by a male on social media was, “Is monogamy a curse on love?”

Feel free to listen to the audio below to hear my thoughts in its entirety. As a pre-warning, molestation in childhood is discussed in this recording and may be triggering to some.


In summary, my opinion is that monogamy is not the issue. The issue is the mindset of the people who place themselves unwillingly in monogamous relationships. Most men aren’t mature enough to manage 1 household but feel they should have 3 women. If honesty, integrity, loyalty, and commitment can be mastered with 1 woman, then maybe the option to have multiple wouldn’t be so much of an issue.

Imagine having 1 business that is failing, but you’re interested in opening up another business. How can you be successful with the 2nd one if you haven’t even mastered being successful with the first? The problem in the U.S. is we have too many unhealed masculines and feminines who are interested in polygamy for the purpose of sex with multiple people or getting something from each person like a buffet.

This point was further verified, in terms of humans compartmentalizing relationships, when a male responded with:

“..see the thing is people thinks it’s all about SEX. Which it isn’t.. it’s about finding a balance with two or more people..giving you something the other can’t.. mentally emotionally and physically..”

This sounds good when you are trying to justify your own actions and ego is at the forefront. But I’ve never seen a scale with more than 2 sides. As a matter of fact, the etymology of ‘balance’ is this:

from Old French balance (noun), balancer (verb), based on late Latin (libra) bilanx â€˜(balance) having two scale pans’, from bi- â€˜twice, having two’ + lanx‘scale pan’.

Maybe if we had more people interested in cultivating unions for the purpose of longevity and building solid homes, polygamy would be accepted socially. Some men want to push this idea that they are polygamous or polyamorous by nature, but I think women are too. We gave birth to humans. So we embody the same qualities. Most women just have more self discipline.

As a person who believes that people have the right to practice whatever they desire in order to learn or to just have a certain experience in their lifetime, I am not totally against polygamy. Nor am I here to ‘preach’ against polygamy. I am clear that it wouldn’t work for me!! LOL. But I think it’s important to dive into the reasons for instituting such practices to protect the lives of innocent humans who may be naive to this style of relationship. What would be the purpose of polygamy? How would it help humanity? 

I think we have so much healing and work to do in the U.S. on such a larger spectrum before polygamy can even be successful. Let’s heal mother and father hurt so we’re not getting into relationships trying to control somebody. Let’s learn to appreciate what the masculine and feminine energies each bring to the table without insecurity or feeling like someone is taking advantage. Let’s heal from molestation so we’re not going through life trying to hunch everything walking and blaming it on “nature.” 

What are your thoughts?

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3 Comments Add yours

  1. pvcann says:

    Agree with what you’re saying here.


      1. pvcann says:

        My pleasure


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