Submissiveness in Marriage..part 1

This post was inspired by a video of Fantasia Taylor and her husband.

As a person who enjoys thinking critically and who is keen on word etymology, what was stated was very disturbing. I asked myself…..

Are women single because they don’t know their place and refuse to be led by a man?

Are women evil for wanting to be leaders of their own vessel? Is a woman out of line for not desiring to be controlled by a man?

Are women supposed to be followers for life? Is submission a GIFT that many are failing to comprehend? Or does submission translate to a woman losing her own power/force?

Notice how Fantasia says, she slowly became HER HUSBAND after watching him lead. Why is a woman waiting to be married in order to experience guidance from a male on how to progress in life? Why does it seem like women are being glorified when they agree to be “trained” by their husband? Shouldn’t a woman have received instruction from her father?

Submit (v.)

1. accept or yield to a superior force or to the authority or will of another person.
2 : to defer to or consent to abide by the opinion or authority of another.

submission (n.)

Latin submissionem (nominative submissio) “a lowering, letting down; sinking,” noun of action from past participle stem of submittere “to let down, put down, lower, reduce, yield” (see submit). Sense of “humble obedience

Humble (adj.)

having or showing a modest or low estimate of one’s own importance.

Obedience (n.)

compliance with an order, request, or law or submission to another’s authority.

submissive (adj.)

ready to conform to the authority or will of others; meekly obedient or passive.

“a submissive, almost sheeplike people”

masochism (n.)

“sexual pleasure in being hurt or abused.”

Is it just me? Or does something sound unsettling about this requirement?

I always say that words are spells and words can dictate our reality to us if we allow it. Maybe we should rethink what we have been “told” is the right mode of operation concerning partnerships. Maybe?

As a disclaimer, I have been married for 9 years. So, I am no stranger to the things that they are speaking of. I agree with trusting a partner…but I am clear that I have a PARTNER and we are equal. We are joint owners, joint heirs, we are balanced on the scales. There is a WE mentality with our partnership and not a little i, BIG I, mentality.

I am happy that Fantasia and her husband were brave enough to put their opinion out on social media. And as she stated in an interview from the Breakfast Club, her intention is to break generational curses in society. I love her beautiful, soft spirit and I do sense she has a good heart.

Another thing she also stated in the interview was that she was a single mom taking care of her own household and raising children prior to meeting her husband. So, her LIFE EXPERIENCE is, in essence, what led her to this lifestyle. Her story, overall, is an inspirational story. This post serves to further the dialogue on this topic concerning submissiveness in marriage.

After listening to the recording above and reviewing this post in its entirety, I would love to hear your thoughts as well!

2 Comments Add yours

  1. gypsysoulsun says:

    I will be honest that I did not listen to either recordings. Personally, I see the words “submissive” and “marriage” together and it bristles me. Reading the definitions you had within your post bristle me even more! But I guess that framework works for some partnerships. Truthfully, I think it would be difficult for me to respect a female who resides in this space. And I don’t know if that right or wrong of me. Not very accepting or tolerant. Women have fought long and hard to be treated and established as equal so for a woman to be submissive because her husband is deemed “superior” feels like betrayal to our gender to me. As someone who has been married over 20 years I recognize that compromise and yielding is an absolute for success but that is on both sides. We harness eachother’s strengths and carry eachother through. Great post, very thought provoking. Thx!

    1. I love your honesty! No worries. You probably would cringe watching the video, because it had me questioning even more. Is she being abused emotionally and/or physically? This requirement for women to be submissive is unsound. And 20 years?!! You definitely have a considerable amount of partnership experience. And if you feel this submissiveness is unnecessary, then that says a lot to me. I agree…mutual agreements, trust, yielding to one another’s opinions, and mutual respect is ultimately what leads to cohesiveness. But submissiveness? I’m not really seeing the necessity or benefits of that.

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