How did you read this title? Did you stumble over the words because you haven’t learned shorthand language? Or were you able to understand what was meant even without a complete sentence?
Most likely, you found your way through the somewhat confusing dialect and comprehended what my intentions were. Although you have not yet completed this post, I hope this tidbit gives you an idea about LOVE languages and how diverse love really is.
Aside from straight jamming to this song by Kehlani, lol, I learned a valuable lesson from this melody.
Whenever we enter into relations with individuals, we often times come into the relationship with ultimatums and requirements before we designate whether a person is “worthy” of receiving our love.
However, we are all humans here on a journey of self discovery. We all come with our unique experiences as well as past traumas that have us vibrating on different frequencies.
Can we try this approach instead? How about we take the time to identify someone else’s love language before expecting them to agree to our love language. Instead of having someone jump over obstacles to prove their love to YOU, how about meeting them halfway to figure out their love language? It is actually imbalanced to have someone meeting you ALLLLLL the way on your side when you have only moved a few steps. And, no, past hurt is no excuse to require a person to do this either. Seeking relations with others from an unhealed space is the recipe for disaster, because your thoughts will only come from a self-serving place. Try healing FIRST and then you will find it easier and possibly quite entertaining to love someone else’s love language.
Think of it this way. Would you go to a foreign country without first learning their language or culture? Some humans do, lol. But most humans want to actually ensure they enjoy their new voyage to the fullest. So, in the same way that you would learn a new language before traveling to a different country, try to learn a person’s LOVE language before creating expectations in your mind that end in you becoming disappointed.
I teach my children this concept repetitively. Their love language may be receiving hugs and kisses to solidify the energy of love. However, for someone who has experienced traumatic experiences from childhood or otherwise, their love language may be buying gifts and answering your phone call on time to show you they care about you. Or maybe they are a free-spirited person who does not love in a controlled way. So not acting in an energy of jealousy or possessiveness does not automatically mean they are uninterested in you. Just because they speak a different love language, that does not mean they do not love you.
It is inconsiderate and selfish for us to only think about our idea of what love looks like without considering the above factors. Become fluent in someone else’s love language to properly understand their intentions with you. Never assume that someone is a “bad person” or even “toxic” just because their love language looks different. Try to evaluate all factors surrounding the love frequency they radiate.
Also, take the time to get to know someone’s love language before assuming that because they don’t do A, B, or C for you like someone else, then the ultimate conclusion equals they don’t care about you. First and foremost, if we are practicing self-love, we wouldn’t expect so much from people because we are not looking for external love and recognition as validation. Love energies radiating from others should be supplementary to our experience but not as a substitute for self-love, self-acceptance, and self-worth. Secondly, unconditional love is not coupled with demands, requirements, ultimatums, etc. Decide to love a person because you want to not because you’re obligated to do so. Once you have decided to be vulnerable with a person, TRUST YOURSELF and your own intuition surrounding them. And love them in the same way that you would love yourself because HEALED/UNCONDITIONAL love is the ultimate remedy to elevate humanity.
“We say hurt people hurt other people. Well, what would happen if unconditionally loving people loved other unconditionally loving people?”