Love with conditions is mostly what we have been accustomed to experiencing in this current reality…hence the creation of love with contracts. From infancy, some of us experience conditional love while in the womb from the sheer reality that our mother didn’t love herself unconditionally…We’re able to feel those emotions. And after entering into this realm, we witness parental behaviors that reflect conditional love. Many children are physically abused or emotionally manipulated to a point where self-love is so far removed from their reality, anything that looks NONIDENTICAL to their current situation or usual lifestyle feels like an agenda is at play.
In this post, I will elaborate on love in contract partnerships, love between family, and love in relations with people. Because we have been taught to compartmentalize the frequency of love, we assume that love is shown differently to individuals depending on the title they hold in our lives. But I will explain how this way of thinking is just another way to practice love with conditions versus unconditional love that benefits the planet.
Love without conditions feels unsafe because it’s foreign territory for most of us. We want to hold ownership of our lover’s mind and heart so that their love can only project unilaterally. I have even seen this in friendships and family relationships. Someone gets mad because their best friend is hanging out with someone else….A grandparent becomes angry when their grandchildren are loving on others and taking pictures while they’re happy!!
We want to hold a person to an assurance of love because otherwise we would risk getting our hearts broken. We have lost the ability to feel with our hearts instead of our eyes. So love in modern day has to show up in the 3rd dimension as a ring, a contract, a new car, flowers, gifts, etc. Many believe this was something inspired by an intelligent Creator, but I feel it was inspired by humans who are out of touch with unconditional love…it is birthed from the emotion of selfishness.
Selfishness and ownership leads us to this phrase……
You belong to me and only me….
Is this really unconditional love or love with conditions?
Pure love comes innately…without boundaries….it flows like a waterfall….without any guilt or need for an explanation. This type of energy is very unapologetic in the most untainted way. For me, I experienced the purest form of love when I was a CHILD…before I was TOLD how, what, or WHO to love….before my innocence was stripped away by dogmas and rules. I just loved based on my own innate ability to relate to others and their needs. I was able to feel with my heart. I’m gradually getting back to this part of myself.
Unfortunately, by the time most of us are adults, we are no longer practicing unconditional love. We practice the kind of love that has been inculcated into our brains. We’re no longer free to experience a genuine openness with love…only free to practice forms of ACCEPTED/DICTATED love that has been taught by our environment and/or religious doctrines. Many individuals suppress love for other individuals because they feel GUILTY for loving someone else other than their contract partner. They go on to live lives that are extremely emotionally damaging and intolerable just to appease someone else’s feelings…neglecting their own intuition.
A majority of us measure love based on a person’s actions towards us instead of radiating love apart from someone’s actions.
“If you love me, then you will do (insert list of demands here).”
This type of ultimatum-style love involves a person being a love slave to the demander….requiring them to bend over backwards and do somersaults to PROVE LOVE while the demander sits back and judges if the efforts are worthy enough to be accepted….
Many of us are taught that certain individuals do not ‘deserve’ our love…not taking into consideration that we are all somewhat flawed and have room left for growth. We keep a record of the ASSUMED wrongdoings of a person to use it as a tool to measure how much more love that person can receive. When in reality, the unconditional love that is given to that person may be what they need/DESERVE in order for them to heal from their own brokenness. Ever think about that?
Unconditional love DOES NOT equate to allowing a person to abuse your open heart. Let me make that overly clear. It DOES NOT equate to accepting negative treatment or behavior because of a strong emotion of love and dedication to an individual. For those of us who are operating on an unconditional love frequency, we are extremely cognizant of those who are taking our love for granted versus those who are dealing with inner issues from trauma. That is the difference…having empathy to return love to someone versus allowing a person to drain you of all your energy. Having an open heart also comes with the tool of discernment to know when you are dealing with individuals who lack empathy and may even have a personality disorder.
Genuine love is unlike what we see today.
Some conditional love examples present in our society are:
We’re no longer in consistent relation with each other, so I don’t like you anymore…blocked…done..bye Felicia or Felicio (LOL)
We’re not together anymore so although I may have loved you THEN, I don’t love you NOW.
You’re not giving me enough attention or catering to my every need, so I’m on to the next.
Your lifestyle doesn’t line up with my beliefs….God loves you, but I don’t have to deal with you like that….
Love that is unconditional hardly ever expires when it is pure…..it encompasses an infinite supply. There’s enough L.O.V.E. on this planet to wrap around the entire Earth and Universe. As I described on a previous post, my acronym of L.O.V.E. translates to Loads Of high Vibrational Energy. When you are receiving this form of love from an individual (or group for that matter) it should make you feel free to think for yourself because it is a vibration that touches your heart and radiates superiorly into your crown. It releases mental blockages. It sparks a person’s wick and has them glowing because their self-love meter goes up more. Unconditional love helps us heal by pushing us to go within and search ourselves because it’s so unfathomable to be loved by someone just because! This is why we often say love heals all…love always wins…love never fails….because the frequency of unconditional love cannot be blocked or shut off…it flows throughout time with no limits. If it can be shut off, then it was never unconditional love to begin with.
Unconditional LOVE should encourage a person to do what makes THEM happy. Yes! In an unconditional love relationship, you should only be encouraged to be MORE of yourself and not coached to sacrifice your desires for various reasons. IT SHOULD ALWAYS MAKE YOU FEEL UNCONSTRAINED/FREE.
And it doesn’t need permission. This type of love will have you in FIJI or COSTA RICA naked in the jungle!!! Why? Because it casts out all fear and pushes you to do the unthinkable. NAKED because it makes a person reflect back to their purest state when they initially entered into this realm called life….innocent of the fabrications of this world…naked to ideologies and influences….a naked Being in a jungle untouched by human interference.
On the contrary, fear-based CONDITIONAL love will make a person feel trapped and afraid to exist. It also comes with the infliction or imposition of a penalty as retribution for an offense (definition of punishment). Is this really what L.O.V.E. was designed to be?
Unconditional love has a domino effect. When it touches one person it spreads to the next like healthy bacteria…a probiotic. Although it is common knowledge that probiotics are very beneficial for gut health, how many of us actually enjoy ingesting probiotics? This is what has happened and IS happening all around us in our environment. Benevolent acts are often treated as evil or malevolent while the things that are smothering our evolution as humans are treated as saintly and philanthropic.
On this journey, I have discovered that most humans are petrified of unconditional love! We have been taught that love is equal to marriage. And that if a person truly loves you, then they will marry you or parade you around as a prized possession! This is totally contradictory to unconditional L.O.V.E. because a license requires PERMISSION to love. When a woman changes her last name to her partner’s last name, she is now owned as property by this person….similar to a slave needing to change their last name to reflect ownership by said slave-master. The two people then begin to wear RINGS….which subconsciously has them going around in a repetitive loop….attached to a vow/blood oath (til death do you part)…a slave to love. Often the death is initially an identity loss and then goes on to be a physical death. Their innate ability to love others unconditionally has been stripped by this marital BOND.
- an agreement with legal force, in particular.
- physical restraints used to hold someone or something prisoner, especially ropes or chains.
- a strong force of attraction holding atoms together in a molecule or crystal, resulting from the sharing or transfer of electrons..
The love in a bond must then be placed in a compartment only for partners to share…with precepts designed to keep a person in solitary confinement. And as an extension of this, love for family or others has to be portioned out and mutually agreed upon because “God” forbid if you love another human being more than your contract partner.
This is not a reflection of unconditional love. It is INDEED love with conditions.
Unconditional love should make partners feel a togetherness which is unlike a bond or obligation.
- into companionship or close association.
- so as to be united or in agreement.
- self-confident, level-headed, or well organized.
LOVE SHOULD ALWAYS MAKE US FEEL FREE
FREE is also an opposing force to a BOND. It is impossible to love unconditionally (without conditions) when there is a bond in place…
- not under the control or in the power of another; able to act or be done as one wishes.
- not or no longer confined or imprisoned.
- not bound in an atom, a molecule, or a compound.
We’re taught that if loving a person makes us feel FREE, then something has to be wrong. We are taunted with gravitating towards our own self interests….made to feel as if we are being selfish for self-love. Can you believe that?!
Self-love: regard for one’s own well-being and happiness.
When in a contract partnership, we are taught that our own happiness and well-being no longer matters as much as ensuring that the other partner is happy.
Unconditional love SHOULD cause a person to love themselves 1000 times more. This type of love is not self-seeking/self-serving/egotistic..meaning the love that is given from another individual should not be used to boost ego. A partner should not be used as a trophy piece to signify winning another human and keeping them as a prize. Unconditional love does not involve arrogance but it is rather humble and lighthearted.
However, in modern day, it is more common for a partner to only want you to love yourself JUST ENOUGH so that you can have a dependency on their love. They want to feel NEEDED so that their ego can be stroked. Chris Brown (as much as I love his artistry) said in his song “Love You Better”…”I’ll love you better than you love yourself.”..codependency… Sounds extremely sketch to me that a person would want their partner to love their self less so that he or she can love then MORE. And it’s unfortunate that this is the mindset of most love in this patriarchal society. Women can only love themselves just slightly so that the male can have authority over the rest. She’s now placed in a position to be issued love in portions. When she begins to elevate her thoughts to reflect her own intriguing mind, support from the male diminishes…financial, emotional, or both. This is also sometimes practiced in partnerships that mirror masculine and feminine energies.
Unconditional love does not require a person’s signature in blood…it doesn’t come with an oath that delegates rewards and punishments. It is UNDRESSED, unwrapped, and it does not feel like an obligation. Unconditional love is a frequency that interrupts your regular scheduled programming. It entices a person to feel less of a robot and more of a human being. It is the purest form of expression that enhances a person’s quality of life. It causes them to feel more FREE than ever!!! But the love we have been accustomed to often makes us feels as if we’re in a box or some sort of lock-down. This type of love is controlled love with strings attached…very low vibrational and unfulfilling. It often causes a ton of emotional distress and a loss of identity.
Unconditional love is actually very rare. In fact, when most people see it THEY RUN. They think it’s weird…unfamiliar..uncomfortable. They formulate excuses to break the soul recognition….causing pure-hearted lovers to feud over things that could easily be resolved. But because a person is scared to be loved in this way, it’s easier to cause an extreme argument over something small just to have a reason to walk away. Unfortunately, I am speaking from experience. But I have come to find that it is not due to my inability to love but it’s due to a person’s inability to ADAPT to the form of love I freely give. I am mature enough to understand this NOW which brings me solace. I no longer have anger in my heart towards those individuals. I still have the same unconditional love for them and only wish they live their best life unrestricted. I hope that the love I shared caused them to love themselves more even in my absence.
We’re quick to shut off love that is unfamiliar because we think there’s an agenda attached. We’re accustomed to love with dysfunction, backstabbing, jealousy, CONTROL, etc. We have been programmed to imagine love that includes OWNERSHIP. This does not exist in unconditional love and most do not experience this type of love in their lifetime.
Unconditional love is one of the purest forms of expressions that can heal anything…depressions, phobias, insecurities, bitterness, self-hate, you name it!! But most of us are afraid to be loved in this way because we have not learned to love ourselves in this way. Some of us are still hating the parts of ourselves that we don’t comprehend or are too busy picking ourselves apart for things we cannot change. We’re too busy imagining a perfect Being that does not exist and critically analyzing our daily actions to measure up to this fictional perfect character. It’s more comfortable to have a person come into our reality and accept our programming rather than challenge us to become our freest selves. This type of love is shunned in our society because love lock-down is supposed to make you appear “secure.” You have been claimed by the highest bidder so you no longer belong to yourself anymore. You are no longer free to love and be an agent of change on the planet.
I want to end with this…
Self-love is the greatest love of all time! Even the love that people project as an outer being or unseen force loving them is truly just their own self unconsciously loving all over themselves…and THAT love is STILL the GREATEST of all time!
When you genuinely love yourself to the depths within, it can blossom externally and spread like a wildfire. The earth needs unconditional love frequencies more than ever. As stated in a previous post, I have formed a sisterhood with women of all hues, cultures, orientations, and backgrounds…and I couldn’t fathom loving them based on a condition! So don’t be afraid to love someone unrestrained and without conditions for fear of judgement or disapproval…The vibration of love is not discriminatory, only humans are.
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