The Fear of Y.O.U.

Turn the lamp on
Let me talk to ya
See that light bulb
Does something to ya
Makes it little harder
To tell a lie don’t it
Make it difficult
To run and hide don’t it
Told your truth to me
The truth to me
Come close to me
If that’s you
I wanna see the details
Inside those beautiful eyes
Myself ain’t never talked to me like that before…….
No wonder why
There’s no mirrors on these walls no more
You can’t tell me why
You’re so terrified of beautiful
Scared of the good
More than the evil
Scared of the light
More than the dark
Scared of the truth so much more than the lie
-BRANDY “Scared of Beautiful”

Something happens inadvertently when we neglect to love ourselves unconditionally…

When we fail to love ourselves unconditionally, we (consciously and/or unconsciously) perpetuate judgement upon others who are really just reflections of ourselves….

The psychology of overt HATRED towards persons, places, or things out of FEAR is really only mirroring the fears that lie dormant within ourselves… We fear the things we don’t understand MOSTLY because we can’t comprehend certain aspects about ourselves or lack comprehension about the world we live in.

For example, if I have always lived in a small town, I wouldn’t understand why another person loves to travel abroad and live in different places. For the person who is only immune to safe small circles, the big circle looks frightening. If I’m only accustomed to driving a Honda Accord, then the big Chevy Silverado will be intimidating to drive at first. But once I drive the truck for a while, I may begin to realize that I really like the big body vehicle more than I like the sedan that sits low to the ground. If I’m used to traveling via vehicle to visit family, then traveling on an airplane may be a bit nerve-wrecking at first. But once I have experience coasting the skies, I may prefer this method of travel better because it gets me to places quicker. (These are ALL accurate life examples of my experiences by the way, LOL)

Comfortable is not always more “correct” than the uncomfortable. The uncomfortable is just unfamiliar. These various realizations were made once I submitted to the idea that I can enjoy it all and don’t have to spend so much energy analyzing why one way is better than the other. They all serve a purpose.

In all of these instances, if we get stuck in a phase of telescoping, we fail to recognize the beauty in everything externally and internally. And most importantly, what we aren’t tending to within ourselves turns into a cancer…

The saying is people fear what they don’t know or understand…so is it true that you fear the unknown parts of yourself because you don’t know or understand yourself fully?

What causes humans to lose their identity? I can think of at least 20 reasons. But one critical reason goes back to our childhood. How many times were you ridiculed for self-expression? How many times were you told to NOT be one thing and coached to become something else? I remember telling my grandmother I wanted to be a forensic pathologist or a criminal detective as an adult. Out of concern for me, she coached me to be something else that was safer. I remember having to hide loving a person because it wasn’t an “acceptable” form of expression. How many times were you told to not engage in PDA until you had a ring on your finger? Or…”Don’t bring (this type of person) home!” Through all of this, an adult may as well say “Don’t be yourself dear. Be who I want you to be because being who you came here to be is unsafe.”

These are all examples of how who we truly are gets shot down because of ANOTHER PERON’S fears. We then go on through life wearing PROJECTED FEARS on our shoulders until we finally have had enough and get weighed down. This is the moment where you MUST shed those fears and walk boldly in who you KNOW you are.

Think about your biggest ‘FLAW’ or insecurity that you have attempted to strip from your identity……only you would know this if you have kept it a secret from others.

Now examine your daily life. What topic do you find the biggest issue with? What are you consistently discussing with others and turning your nose up to?

Because you are so busy critiquing every single thing about yourself (because you have been programmed to hate certain characteristics) it only becomes natural for you to judge others as a result…remember, what happens on the inside reflects on the outside (consciously or unconsciously).

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So because you lack self-worth or self-esteem, you can easily spot those who are just like you…and you begin to discuss those individuals daily. Because you have paused your journey of evolution out of fear, you now begin to criticize those who are living their life freely…and you discuss them daily because a part of you DESIRES to be a free spirit just like them.

10 times out of 10, this ISSUE that you are projecting outwardly is an inner issue that you have to resolve within yourself. I can guarantee it.

As silly as this may sound, I was once afraid of cats that stemmed from a childhood experience when a cat hissed at me. I was so afraid from that moment on because I couldn’t trust the cat. But then I realized that I am just like the cat. I have the same personality traits…I have my moments where I’m sweet and tender. But then when I am irritated, I can become aggressive and let out a hiss in the form of letting people know that clearly “I ain’t got time for you to be in my space.”

Now, I absolutely ADORE cats and am looking forward to having one as company to my children in our new home.

This idea works in the same way with insecurities and things that you have not accepted about yourself. You must come face to face with those things. Suppression only delays the time that you have to deal with it. But eventually, it WILL creep back into your reality repetitively until you learn the lesson of self-love and self-acceptance. Practice overcoming external fears and you will begin to recognize how easy it is to overcome internal fears.

In my post about overcoming fears, I discussed how fears do not vanish by putting it out of sight and out of mind….putting a blanket over it or shoving it in a closet. Fears dissipate by coming face to face with them and allowing yourself to sail through all emotions. E-motion is energy in motion. What happens to energy in a cell? Is a cell fully contained with energy? No, this is the reason for cellular respiration. If not, the cell will experience cell death. Cell death is the event of a biological cell ceasing to carry out its functions. Is it resonating? Why do we think we as humans are any different? Your inner self that you are trying to keep under control has to breathe as well or you WILL experience death of self…you will go through life confused wondering what your purpose is because you are ceasing to carry out your functions.

Turn that FLAW into FLOW and let it vibrate freely within your being. Whenever you suppress anything, it turns into a dis-ease….you begin to hate yourself…and then you attract false props around you to cushion this new reality you have created while the true inner being SCREAMS to be FREE.

When will you choose to love yourself unconditionally?

Will you continue to fear Your Own Uniqueness?

Because the truth is…if you’re scared of My Essence, then you’re scared of Y.O.U…

And if you’re scared of Y.O.U, then you’re scared of beautiful…

What are you really afraid of? If A BELIEF (religious or self-taught) makes you belittle yourself or makes you feel depressed because you cannot be your true self, then you can not place blame on the belief, because YOU are making the choice to accept that as YOUR reality. Change the belief and then you can change how you see yourself in the mirror.

Practice today critiquing yourself a little bit less and celebrate just for being Y.O.U. In those moments you want to cry your eyes dry because of a trait you can’t seem to shake, look yourself in the mirror and introduce this hidden you to the accepted version of you. Welcome that estranged essence into your reality and love all over them JUST AS MUCH as you love the accepted version of you.

Think of this unaccepted self as your child that you can’t seem to control and you’re embarrassed by them because they won’t stop doing what they love in spite of your judgments. This child acts out everywhere you take them because deep inside, they just want to be recognized and told they’re loved. They just want a hug or a kiss on the cheek…some consolation…they want to shine like a constellation! This is the EXACT image of your inner self acting out and becoming imbalanced because it can’t express freely! I hope that light bulb came on for you in this moment…do you see why it’s important to love ALL of yourself and not just the parts that everyone has agreed to like?

Someone is waiting for you to be yourself so that they can be themselves!! The sooner you liberate yourself, the sooner others around you will feel liberated. As long as you hide behind yourself, others will continue to hide as well…’s a domino effect.



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