What’s LOVE got to do with it?

I’m just going to jump right into this thing without an elaborate¬†introduction or any of that.

I’m convinced that this idea of “love” doesn’t exist in the way it has been universally projected….

This word “Love” needs to be taught in its proper context. It should be nationally recognized as a holiday/holy-day so that we can keep it in our remembrance who is responsible for burdening us with this word….and no I’m not talking about Valentine’s Day.

Companies generate tons of dinero from our ignorance.

We pay all of this money for some metals and crystals to sit on our 4th finger..left hand. We spend thousands on lavish weddings all because of LOVE!

Governments generate millions on this word “love” by having us pay for contracts promising to commit. And when it doesn’t work they gain even more for the costs of separations and divorces.

But like Tina Turner said “What’s Love Got to do with it?”

In my own words, LOVE ain’t got nothing to do with nothing!!! (This is my G-rated version for those with sensitive ears)ūüĎĆūüėā

We should be told the REAL DEAL about Love….that it is only an expression to cover temporary emotions instead of an infinite expression.

Why do I think this is accurate? Because HUE-women and men turn on and off like light switches. It’s in our nature to be fickle (some more than others…no shade).

We can feel ONE way at (this) moment in time YET feel the complete opposite in .02 seconds due to our hormones and due to the trickery ideologies that have been programmed into our subconscious making us confused. (Long sentence…probably broke grammar rules…I know….but you read it…and you got the point, Right?…No?…read it again then ūüėČ)

All jokes aside.

We use this word so carelessly everyday not realizing it carries detrimental vibrations. This word leaves deep scars on peoples’ heart, soul, and mind. Unfortunately, some have been physically and/or mentally abused with this¬†term far too often. Because of our various genetic make-ups and our distinct upbringings, it affects us all differently.

One thing that I will mention is this…

Please NEVER ASSUME that a person can tolerate YOUR expression of “love” even if you have known them all of your life. Also do not assume that they consent to or agree with your viewpoint.

Whether y’all are married, homies, buddies, lovers, friends, JUST kicking it…WHATEVER title you have attached to your situation, throwing this word around like it’s a game of craps could end poorly for you and/or for the person you are toying with. This is the cause for common people going “crazy”. Many have prematurely ended their life or have brought harm to others due to this word “love”.

Parents, it’s important to know that we play a vital role in the development of our children. What message are we instilling in our babies? Children hear “I love you” at least 10 times a day, yet some adults in anger will raise their hand to strike their child when their offspring does something opposite of what they suggested. This teaches children that “love” must come with a balance of pain and comfort. Is that veritable?

I think it sends a¬†perplexing message. We will encourage our children to hastily leave relationships that include domestic violence, but through some of our own efforts to “mold” our offspring, we actually are teaching them to accept hitting as a form of love.

It’s no wonder when we find ourselves in various relationships, we become comfortable with episodes of hurt mixed with a little bit of consolation. We accept this phrase “I love you” from a person whose actions say otherwise because we have been groomed from infancy to recognize this pattern of inconsistent emotions as “love”.

What is truly the meaning of this appellation…”Love”. Are we acting out its intended meaning yet assuming love is suppose to be something else?

For the progenitors of this¬†vocable, it’s clear that “love” covers multiple sentiments.

It can be used as a verb or noun. As we know a noun describes a person, place or thing. A verb is an expression of an action, occurrence, or state of being.

Let’s see what the definition is according to Online Etymology Dictionary.

love (v.)¬†Look up love at Dictionary.comOld English¬†lufian¬†“to feel love for, cherish, show love to; delight in, approve,” from Proto-Germanic¬†*lubojan¬†(source also of Old High German¬†lubon, German¬†lieben), a verb from the root of¬†love¬†(n.). Weakened sense of “like” attested by c. 1200. Intransitive sense “be in love, have a passionate attachment” is from mid-13c. To¬†love (someone) up¬†“make out with” is from 1921. To¬†love and leave¬†is from 1885.love (n.)¬†Look up love at Dictionary.comOld English¬†lufu¬†“feeling of love; romantic sexual attraction; affection; friendliness; the love of God; Love as an abstraction or personification,” from Proto-Germanic*lubo¬†(source also of Old High Germanliubi¬†“joy,” German¬†Liebe¬†“love;” Old Norse, Old Frisian, Dutch¬†lof; German¬†Lob“praise;” Old Saxon¬†liof, Old Frisian¬†liaf, Dutch¬†lief, Old High German¬†liob, Germanlieb, Gothic¬†liufs¬†“dear, beloved”). The Germanic words are from PIE root*leubh-¬†“to care, desire, love.”¬†*taken from : http://www.etymonline.com

This is why I always like to examine the original usage of a word instead of running with my perceived interpretation of a term. This breakdown leaves room for no confusion in my eyes.

So in essence, if a person says “I Love You” it’s crucial to get further validation of what they mean. Simply ask, “In what way do you love me?” ¬†A person can use this¬†utterance however they wish.

  • They may be in love with the idea of seeing you everyday so they can experience the joy and laughter you bring to their life.
  • They may be in love with your personality.
  • They may ONLY have a strong sexual desire for you..¬†I love (desire) to make love (have intercourse) with you
  • OR they¬†may only care for you as a friend. Ladies and fellas..how many times have you heard this one? I love you, but only as a friend.
  • OR It could be ALL OF THE ABOVE.

These are all expressions of this word..LOVE. One expression may develop from the other, but not all of the time. However, many believe that they can engage in sexual activity with a person without dealing with “love” but sex IS a manifestation of¬†love according to the etymology.

To¬†make love¬†is from 1570s in the sense “pay amorous attention to;” as a euphemism for “have sex,” it is attested from c. 1950.¬†Love scene¬†is from 1630s.Love affair¬†“a particular experience of love” is from 1590s.¬†

No matter how much we hear rappers say “we don’t love them h0‚ā¨$”….regardless of how we try to twist it up to suit our physical lusts….If you make the conscious decision to exchange bodily fluids with someone else, know that it’s going to be LOVE in at least one of the person’s mind.

So whenever you hear that word, regardless of who it’s from, make sure you have a full awareness of what that person means. It may save you in the long run from a achy heart and soul drowning in a sea of uncertainties.

OVER/INNERstand that “unconditional love” cannot exist.¬†Unconditional means without conditions….without restrictions…absoluteness…This word *LOVE* DOES come with conditions because as you just read above, the etymology (origin/history of a word) tells us it has many different mechanisms to its origin.

Did you get that?

Let me put this in bold and write it again for the people in the back who can’t see clearly.

LOVE USED AS A VERB OR NOUN CANNOT BE UNCONDITIONAL BECAUSE THE ETYMOLOGY OF THIS WORD HAS MANY INTERCHANGEABLE MEANINGS.

We may entertain the idea of exclusively loving a person..going through the whole shebang of commitment contracts and marriage…only to be distracted with someone else months or years later. Why? Because we are apart of a creation that adapts to situations and environments according to our pyschological and physcial needs. So no one can hide their hands on this one. All of creation does it.

In my opinion, love cannot be exclusive to one person for infinity and beyond. In our lifetime, we come across many people we love/adore. That is something that cannot be shut off. If it can, that means you may have “loved” that person only in a sexual manner. possibly….

In my opinion, love can be exclusive for a time..but that time expires. That’s a hard pill to swallow. But when I correctly comprehend the analyzation of this word LOVE…I cannot attach a FOREVER feeling to a word that changes.¬†In a perfect fairy-tale we imagine this reality but I feel it cannot exist on a planet that evolves constantly. Therefore my reality has to evolve.

As stated above in the etymology, love (as an expression used in a boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband relationship) is a WEAKENED SENSE OF LIKE.

Being in Love involves:

  • Letting down your guard.
  • Allowing another person to influence your emotions and decisions.
  • Putting away intuition of your spirit at times so that you can follow the flutters of your heart.
  • Becoming lost in a euphoric state….. seeking that feeling over and over again.
  • Feeling like Tremaine..I don’t want nobody else but you (ooh ah ah)…
  • Becoming attached primarily and exclusively to one individual.

Oooh THAT PART! This is when the definition of love “having a passionate attachment” comes into play. This is the part that gets tricky if it’s not mutual.¬†
Ever been told “you’re too clingy” or “you’re too attached”. Ding ding ding! You got it! That person loves you BUT not in the attachment phase of the word LOL. I’m laughing outwardly but inwardly this is why I despise this word “love”. It is truly pure confusion.¬†

Love¬†in a friendship (even amongst family) is an expression of deep care/concern for a person. But even these bonds are broken. How and why? Simple. The love in friendships has conditions too. It can’t be unconditional.¬†A family member can deeply care about you but only want you to be apart of their life as a bank…constantly wanting to get interest-free loans.

Parents can “love” their children but use that same word as a tool to design their child’s life (as if they are puppet masters). ¬†Sometimes once an individual is done¬†USING your time for whatever benefits they may obtain, you can be dropped in an instant like a Hot Pocket fresh out of the microwave. We all do it.¬†In friendships, if you do something in accordance with one of your negative personality traits, that “friend” who made claims to “love” you can easily just ignore your calls or block you on social media.

People have different aspects that we LOVE but we can’t neglect the parts that are on the opposite side of the spectrum. We ignore the negative attributes so that we can enjoy the positive attributes of them. It’s not entirely fair but it’s apart of our existence.¬†

I wish this topic of “love” was less complicated but since the word was created by fallible human beings, it will always be a complicated expression.¬†I genuinely hope some type of clarification can be gained from reading this post.

We all experience things in this realm to generally encourage us to learn. I’m grateful that I have been able to channel all of these life moments into a format that I can gain perceptions from as well.

But keep in mind that some individuals are not mentally capable of juggling the rollercoaster effects from this word..Love…

It’s important to recognize when a person may not be a beneficial addition to your life. If they seem uninterested in your feelings concerning how their “love” affects you negatively, chances are they do not care about you like they say. If it seems to be more energy given to this individual with zero to little positive energies returned, they may not be a necessary entity to your life. Take some time to evaluate.

Once you both have decided to continue being apart of each other’s evolution, Communication is KEY to keeping healthy relationships.

Try to make your intentions clear before AND after letting this noun/verb slip from between your lips. If you’re not sure then simply don’t use the word at all. Try saying “I care about you” instead. If you enjoy their comedic personality then state that. If you desire sex then say that. Just be honest!!!If you only seek to control a person’s emotions, mind, and/or life, do humanity a huge favor and abstain from using this word. Or maybe we could all benefit by not using it! Hmph…possibly a good idea.

These are just my thoughts based on my life experience. What are your thoughts about Love?

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